Here’s the thing: The Village of Mt. Horeb is absolutely darling. Gingerbread houses, covered pavilions, general Midwest niceties every which way. But if you’re going to call yourself “The Troll Capital of the World” and have a literal Trollway (aka, Main Street), I need you to really troll yourself up. For instance: toll trolls, under the bridge trolls, a bevy of troll dolls doing people things in a model town exhibited at the local museum–and I’m just spitballing here… But Mt. Horeb’s troll village is basically just a few artfully placed wooden trolls. Yes, they are adorable and greet you in front of the major municipal buildings and adorn signage. But, and perhaps my expectations were too high, Troll Town, USA really let me down. It didn’t help that I was expecting something more along the lines of this:
Magical Super Trolls! A thing to note: “Horeb” may mean either “glowing/heat” or “desolation as after a mighty battle.” Discuss.
1. [Drum roll please….] Mount Rushmore!
GASP! I know, right? How can you be underwhelmed by a massive granite sculpture of not one, not two, but FOUR presidential heads of state? Did I mention that it’s on the side of a mountain? And each face stands 60 feet high? Impressive, for sure. But why did it have to look so small from way down on the ground? And, more importantly, where was the vault? I was ruined by the movie Richie Rich, and the tantalizing mountain chase across the family vault, Mount RICHMORE. Get it?? “Man, it must be COOL to have everything!” One day, Mount Rushmore, maybe you will be as cool as Young Richie. Now, friend, do tell me your worst or most underwhelming encounter with the world’s vast treasures.